Social Life and Introvert Time
By Rayan Abdulkadir
Q: I want to have friends and be busy with social plans, but I also feel very tired afterwards. How do I balance being social and having my introvert time?
One of the hallmarks of the college experience is slowly losing your mind to a slew of assignments, club meetings, social events, Zoom calls, and all the basic responsibilities that require any form of energy or strength. You start going to class in pajamas and drinking Celsius like water; all of a sudden you're 19 with gray hair and your eyes blurry from staring at the blue light of your computer. If you can't tell, I'm describing myself, and I will preface any fact that I am in the same spot, and I hope we can get through the peak of the year together.
I have spent a lot of time trying to balance my responsibilities, and the one thing that actually helped was being realistic about what I had the capacity for. I know for a fact that after working a 10-hour shift, I'm not attending a club meeting or going to a party. I'm going to be nonverbal in my bed, laying horizontally for at least three hours. My energy and mood quickly shot up as soon as I stopped saying yes to things I knew didn't serve me in any way. I said yes to everything, even when I didn't want to. I was so focused on others' perceptions of me that I ignored my own needs for downtime. It's crucial that at this point in our lives we create healthy and necessary boundaries, and sometimes that means saying no, even when it may be uncomfortable.
In addition to setting boundaries, I encourage you to pay attention to how you're feeling during and after your social interactions. Your body and mind are telling you you may need something, and sometimes that may be rest or time away. You can still be social, attend parties and activities, but in order to truly enjoy those moments, you have to spend just as much time getting to know yourself and the activities that you enjoy.
Prioritize YOUR time; designate times in your day or week where you can do the things you love to do. That might be spending some time watching a movie, writing in your journal, or curating your Pinterest boards. Whatever you do, stick to it, and consistently make space and energy for it. Put it in your Google calendar and write it down. Just keep at it. It will keep you sane during your moments of uncertainty and stress; it will keep you grounded amidst social events and friendship drama. I struggle with this, but when I go back to the things I love most, I begin living within my values again and it always brings me back to where I need to be. Building these skills now will give you the necessary skills to continue to live a socially fulfilled and balanced life, even after you leave college.
