XOXO Leah: How to Make Friends

Especially as a commuter student

By Leah Keith

Recently, I received a question in my inbox that address a challenge that many college students face:

What advice would you give to a commuter trying to make friends on campus?

Although I live on campus and likely have a different experience making friends compared to commuter students, I still wanted to answer this question because I know how daunting it can be making friends. Meeting new people is scary! I remember how nervous I felt during the first few weeks of college, when I didn’t know anyone and felt a lot of weight around my social life. If you relate to this nervousness around finding friends, keep reading, and I hope I can ease your anxiety slightly.

To help me answer this question, I asked two commuter students, Maryah Hijazi ‘23 (she/her, Fashion Merchandising, Business Administration minor) and Madi Pohl ‘25 (she/they, Nursing) to share pieces of advice.

“It’s hard to make friends when you are coming and going from school,” Pohl says. “It’s important that you reach out to others and take advantage of as many opportunities as possible. Even if you just ask if someone wants to study for an upcoming quiz with you, or if they can be your lab partner. Small gestures like this can be the beginning of a friendship."

Pohl emphasizes hanging out in communal spaces on campus, like the Center for Spirituality and Social Justice, the library, the Pulse and the honors lounge. Additionally, Pohl is a part of various on-campus organizations, like Felis Frisbee, Student Nurses Association and the Dining Hall Committee.

Adding onto that point, Hijazi also talks about the importance of community engagement. “I try to come to the events on campus,” Hijazi says. “I also go to MIPS, and everyone there is just so nice and friendly. They’ll help you out; they’ll tell you about different events going on. They’re so welcoming.”

Hijazi goes on to describe other places she hangs out at and ways she gets involved with other people in her major.

“I’m a fashion student, so I spend a lot of time in the labs,” Hijazi says. “I’m also a part of the Fashion Club, SCUFA, and we meet Thursdays 12 p.m.-1 p.m.”

Speaking of clubs, St. Kate’s has plenty of ways to get involved with the community. All St. Kate’s clubs are listed on the Student Center and Activities site, but I wanted to also include them all down below as well! I categorized each organization and put them in alphabetical order within each category, so I hope this makes it easier for you to navigate.

Images from the St. Kate’s Clubs and Organizations website

If you don’t find what you are looking for, you can also start and charter your own club and receive funding every semester! To begin the chartering process, new clubs need to find at least five interested members, appoint one member of the faculty or staff at St. Kate’s as an advisor, complete the new club chartering request form and draft a constitution. The Senate Organizational Affairs committee will help you with the process. If you have any questions about this, contact Student Center and Activities at studentcenter@stkate.edu.

Along with clubs, there are a variety of athletic teams on campus, including basketball, cross-country, dance, golf, hockey, soccer, softball, swimming & diving, tennis, track & field and volleyball. Check out the St. Kate’s athletics page to learn more.

Other than joining clubs or sports teams, here are some other pieces of advice for people trying to make friends as commuter students:

Attend events on campus: Attending campus events and participating in activities can provide you with opportunities to meet new people who share similar interests. By getting involved, you’ll have more opportunities to engage with others, and you may even discover new hobbies or passions.
Find friend connections: Meeting your friends’ friends can be a great way to get to know new people and expand your social circle. Some of my close friends were met through mutuals, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there!
Engage in class: While attending class, engage with your classmates and start up conversations. By engaging in class, you’ll have more opportunities to interact with others, and you may even find a study partner or two. If you get to a point where you ask them to hang out outside of class, then boom, you just made a new friend.
Use common areas: Take advantage of common areas like student lounges, the library or the dining hall. By hanging out in these areas, you may meet other students who you spark a connection with.
Challenge yourself to be outgoing: Whether you are more introverted or extroverted, you need to put yourself out there to make new friends. I had a hard time being outgoing in high school, but I made an intentional and active effort to change that behavior in college, and that helped a lot with meeting new people.

Making friends takes time, effort and patience, but remember, you’re not alone in your quest to make friends. I encourage you to take advantage of the opportunity to meet new people in college, but even if you don’t find a group of close friends, that doesn’t mean you failed or did something wrong.

Even though there are all these expectations for making friends in college, everyone is on a different journey navigating relationships throughout their life. For some, they might find their lifelong friends in high school, in college, in their 20s or far later in their adult life — it all depends! Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have it all figured out right now. Remember, lifelong friendships don’t just happen overnight.

Best of luck with your friendship-making journey, and I hope you find what you are looking for!

xoxo Leah

St. Kate’s Club and Organizations

Majors: