XOXO Leah: Cultivating connections as a transfer student

Mar 31

Mar 31 XOXO Leah: Cultivating connections as a transfer student

By Leah Keith

Over this past year, my younger sister decided that the school she chose for college was not the right fit for her, and she began the process of transferring schools. Like my sister, many students find themselves needing to transfer at some point during their college experience. Although transferring is a great and sometimes necessary option for students, that does not make the process any easier. Recently, I received a submission about a transfer student struggling to connect at St. Kate’s, and here’s what they had to say:

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I transferred to St. Kate’s from a community college. I had an amazing time in my associate's degree program. There were so many resources, extracurriculars, community events and amazing professors. When I transferred here, I was told it would be better than a large school because class sizes are smaller and the community is more tight-knit. Instead, I have been met with a ton of Acadeum courses to fill my requirements, no opportunity to meet people in my major and expensive tuition. I feel like I’m paying to be lonely and teach myself. I am graduating this spring, and I don't know anyone at St. Kate’s. When I come to campus, I feel like people look at me weirdly. This university has isolated me so much. I work hard to maintain good grades, but it feels like it’s all for nothing. I do not have relationships with faculty, professors or other students. I feel incredibly resentful toward the university, and I feel like I was lied to during the admissions process.

Is it too late for me? How do I get through this?

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Dear transfer student,

First of all, I’m so sorry you are going through this isolating experience right now. Graduating is already difficult, but graduating as a transfer student comes with its own set of challenges. I want to emphasize one point: Don’t be too hard on yourself for lacking these social connections. If you graduate without forming deep relationships with others, that doesn’t mean you never will! I promise. Life goes on after graduation.

Secondly, it’s never too late to connect with people before or after graduation. Many students form connections and network during their senior year, and I am sure other students can relate to your struggle of wanting to cultivate more relationships before graduating. Plus, you will always be an alum of St. Kate’s, so you can continue to meet other Katies after graduation. Now, onto my advice.

Seeking class connections

Since I’m not a transfer student myself, I thought it would be helpful to hear from someone who is. Kenzi Marrone-Lloyd ‘24 (Psychology, Longevity and Aging minor, they/she) transferred from the University of Minnesota to St. Catherine University halfway through their freshman year, and they provided some insightful advice. Marrone-Lloyd emphasized that to cultivate relationships, you need to make an effort to form initial connections.

“Sometimes, just finding one person in each class can help you feel more connected,” said Marrone-Lloyd. “I’ve had opportunities to connect with other students in my program, but I also make an effort to talk to professors after class and ask questions to form relationships with faculty members.”

If you want to cultivate relationships with professors, going to their office hours or finding a time to chat with them outside of class can be a great place to start. Professors like when their students are interested and engaged, so asking questions in class or attending office hours will help you form those relationships.

Marrone-Lloyd went on to talk about how it can be challenging to stay engaged as a commuter student as well, but finding opportunities to chat with people throughout the day can help alleviate some of that loneliness.

“If I wanted to, I could go my entire day without saying a single word,” Marrone-Lloyd said. “I could just go to school and come back home and do my own thing, but I choose to start conversations.” I’m not sure if you’re a commuter student or not, but I think that advice can still be helpful.

Relationships beyond the classroom

As the treasurer of CycloCats, the St. Kate’s cycling club, Marrone-Lloyd encouraged you to join clubs and organizations on campus to meet more people. “There are a lot of niche groups on this campus, so you kind of just need to figure out where you fit in,” said Marrone-Lloyd.

If you don’t see a club you like, you can start your own! Marrone-Lloyd was one of the founding board members of CycloCats, and she mentioned how easy it can be to start a club, which I 100 percent agree with. I started a club my freshman year, and we still meet regularly. Here’s a pic I took at our last meeting:

Although starting a club might not be applicable to graduating seniors, you can still get connected through campus events. I had the chance to talk with Amanda Perrin, the director of campus life, and she also emphasized the importance of finding ways to stay connected through organizations or events.

“It’s important to know that you’re a Katie for life, so it’s never too late to get connected!” said Perrin. “For this specific student or other individuals looking for a way to be connected, come see us in Campus Life. We’d be honored to get to know you more and support any student wanting to get involved, finding things they’d love to be connected with. Or anyone can email studentcenter@stkate.edu and we’ll get you connected.”

Post-graduation support

Perrin also recommended forming post-graduation relationships through Alumni Relations, as you can still meet community members after you graduate this May. “For things to do after graduation, our Alumni Relations office has so many opportunities to connect,” said Perrin.

I recently went to a young alumni and student summit networking event, and I had a great time meeting new people! Look out for those types of events in the future where you might be able to form new connections.

As someone who used to be terrified of talking to new people, I completely understand how you might feel uncomfortable in certain social situations, but I think putting yourself out there will help you tremendously in finding your people before graduation. Plus, graduation is not a deadline to meet others, and you can still foster friendships and relationships after you graduate from St. Kate’s.

Best of luck with the remainder of your time at St. Kate’s, and feel free to reach out if you want to talk more!

xoxo Leah