XOXO Leah: How To Get Cuffed
Advice on starting new relationships
By Leah Keith
Hello St. Kate’s, and welcome to xoxo Leah!! I’m your host, Leah, and I will be answering all of your burning questions submitted to my inbox. As the smartest person in the world, I am so incredibly excited to share my knowledge with all of you. Let’s get started!
To kick this all off, I will be diving into one of my favorite topics probably ever: romance.
I love a romance. Whether it’s happening to me, my friend or a fictional character, I just really enjoy talking and thinking about love. I would always be the person to initiate conversations about crushes because duh, that’s so cutesy. Awww you like someone and want to take it a step further but are scared of making a move … that’s adorable. Anyway, I’ve always been the type of person to have a crush on someone at all times just because I love the feeling of infatuation. The rush of adrenaline when you talk to them and the butterflies in your stomach when you think about them. Love.
However, after the crush settles in, it’s time to make a decision on what to do. To make a move or to not make a move, that is the question. I find this to be an incredibly difficult decision to make. Out of the three relationships I’ve been in, I made the first move two out of the three times. I hated it so bad. I felt sick to my stomach making the first move because what if they rejected me? What if our friendship ends? What if, what if, what if? However, I survived, and now I have a little bit of advice I can share with you all about starting relationships. With that, I will answer this question from my inbox:
“What are your thoughts on cuffing season? Spread your vibes.”
With October fully underway, we have all officially entered cuffing season. If you are like my mom and confused by the phrase, cuffing season refers to the time of year when the weather starts to get colder and you find yourself yearning for a cute relationship for the upcoming winter. Cuffing season usually starts in October and ends after Valentine’s Day. The start and end times may vary, but as someone who recently entered a relationship at the beginning of October, I would love to share my advice.
First of all, I want to emphasize that you do not need a relationship to survive the winter, trust me. Until this year, I lived the first 18 years of life single during cuffing season, and I turned out great. Some people even call me perfect. So do not put pressure on yourself to start anything new, especially if you are not ready. Instead of falling in love with someone during October, try falling in love with yourself. Enjoy an anti-dating era. I promise my other advice won’t be as corny, but I had to. Moving on.
If you do find yourself starting a relationship this October, my best advice would be to communicate to your partner what you want early on. Do you just want to hook up or are you looking for something more serious? If you have that conversation, then you will not be as surprised about the outcome of the relationship. Nevertheless, some people change their minds throughout a relationship, so be prepared for that, too. Overall, just try and communicate. As a communication major, this is my best advice.
As one of the many lesbians at St. Kate’s, I also wanted to give some queer-specific advice on cuffing season. Although initiating a queer relationship can be daunting, especially if you are in a friends to lovers situation, my best advice is to be upfront about your feelings. Again, communicate, communicate, communicate! A back and forth “omg you are SO pretty” situation can be fun at first, but it will get old fast, trust me. Initiate the romantic element of this new situationship, and maybe you will be cuffed up by the end of the month. But remember, gauge whether or not this person wants to pursue this sort of romance because some people just want to chill, you know. Look at body language, tone of voice, overall vibe, etc. You got this! Good luck.
My last bit of advice is for people who are currently in the midst of being cuffed. So, if you start courting someone during cuffing season and realize you are spending a ton of time with them, make sure to carve out time for the relationships and friendships you already have. There is nothing worse than a person who gets into a relationship and starts neglecting their friends as a result. Do NOT be that person! Continue to spend time with your new partner, of course, but do not only hang out with them—balance is key.
As a 19-year-old college student, I am no expert on love and dating. But, I would say just enjoy this period of newness and exploration, and enjoy the beautiful weather before it gets unbearably cold!
Whether you start a relationship or not, I hope you all are having a great October, aka the best month ever.
Sending you my love,
xoxo Leah
