Expanding your compassion
Dew drop pond, mid winter. Credit: Rayan Abdulkadir
By Rayan Abdulkadir
Audre Lorde once wrote in her poem The Transformation, “What are the words you do not have yet? What do you need to say? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence?” In a time of change and growth from adolescence to adulthood, I hope this quote resonates with you the way it does for me. It is an homage to our struggle during a period of pain, joy, anger and grief — that is adulthood.
I swallow my own tyrannies; I allow myself to talk negatively about my being. Occasionally I treat myself like an enemy and not a friend. Compassion is the cure — for yourself and for others. To me, compassion is abundance, love for your neighbor, your community. It's an endless chain of thoughtfulness that fuels our relationships. It is to see yourself and see your peers and understand their spirit. It is impossible to do that without understanding your own.
As we reach the halfway point of the semester, let us take the time to practice mindfulness, cultivate compassion and prepare ourselves to face whatever challenges our emerging adulthood may hold.
Prompts for introspection or journaling (however they serve you best)
What does compassion look like to you?
What tyrannies do you swallow?
Are you giving yourself permission to experience yourself in your truest form?
Who do you allow to see your spirit?
Learning to expand this existing compassion beyond pity or understanding of suffering is an incredibly difficult task, especially when the world crushes dreams and the media we consume reminds us constantly that there is no point. There will always be anger, there will always be spite. Being able to take your compassion and use its abundance for good creates change. Imagine the kind of world we would have if we took the time to look at our inner selves and investigate our values; imagine how much more you could give to the people around you.
When you stare at your phone, and stare in awe of every post telling you that you aren't pretty, not thin enough, too harsh, too loud — you are bound to internalize the hate you see, making it incredibly hard not to take that and bring it into your communities. It is so difficult to identify what it means to be self-aware and self-compassionate, but doing so allows you to grow into these experiences. My biggest tip is to remind yourself of how interconnected we are. I often say that I am the bird in the sky, as they are just like me. I do not have wings, nor can I fly, but I have a spirit that soars — I sing and I move in the same way.
I think of everything this way: My friend is my brother in spirit, and that helps me see the people in my life who are just as connected to me as I am to them. Compassion is just as much joy, love and care as it is pity. Compassion is being in community and seeing the people around you.
Questions for reflection
What is your bird in the sky?
What do you feel connected to? (It can be anything!)
I've written in detail about the magnitude of compassion, and the kind of difference it makes to ourselves and the world around us, but how do we get there? I often tell people to start by tapping into yourself. You can get there in whatever way works best for you. Some people engage in mindfulness techniques like grounding, breathing or meditation. Others enjoy music, humming, singing or being outdoors. All of these are wonderful ways to learn more about who you are.
Knowing about yourself makes it easier to learn about the people around you and to understand their experiences. Be kind to yourself and your neighbor, and remind yourself what you are connected to. For me it is the bird in the sky. What is it for you?
Mindfulness techniques
Grounding, breathing exercises
Trying somatic exercise
Being in community
Tapping into your body through music, humming and singing
Being outside
Journaling with prompts
Resources for self-connection and community
