Claiming classes on campus—it could be a matter of identity
By Mia Timlin
Over the past few semesters, students have noticed classes disappearing off of their schedules. This comes following the minimum enrollment rule stating that if a class doesn’t have at least 100 students gauging interest in it via the registration process, it won’t be offered that semester.
“I needed one more class in order to graduate with my degree in Online-Order Food Delivery this semester,” says Vana Shiller ‘25. “I had my schedule all in order, only to watch my “Customer Service and Speed: Turning Time into Tips” course get dropped during J-term due to a ‘complete and total lack of universal appeal to the St. Kate’s student body,’ as my advisor put it to me. I guess I just drop out now? I don’t know, I’m still weighing my options.”
Shiller isn’t the first person to experience this lack of access to classes. In fact, some departments are facing the opposite problem, with classes filling up faster than students can register for them. This issue ran rampant for students studying Amphibian Cosmetic Surgery.
“I was told that if I didn’t complete “Elongating the Tibiofibular: How Adding Length to Those Legs Can Boost Your Frog’s Confidence” my sophomore year, it was going to be a total pain to get in further down the line,” says Mira Sullivan. “I went into registration day ready. I was up at 3am, practicing my login, timing my speed in finding and adding courses to my schedule, throwing back Red Bulls. I thought I was a shoe-in. I was wrong—it was a bloodbath.”
Sullivan describes their horrific registration experience as one similar to the plot of the Hunger Games.
“It was everyone for themselves,” said Sullivan. “I watched the clock strike 5am, I jumped onto the registration portal, tried to add the course to my schedule, then immediately got a mocking error message reading ‘haha, u were too slow, maybe try a bit harder next year.’ It was really jarring.”
When asked about student organization efforts happening to combat these pervasive issues, a Student Senate representative, who wished to remain anonymous, said they were looking into a solution that would allow students to have more freedom in the course registration space.
“Worried that your class won’t hit that 100-count quota?” asked our Student Senate source. “Adopt a couple new identities. Enroll them on campus. Register them for your classes.”
When asked about the cost of this plan, our source responded that students needn't worry as “the debt will fall on that fake identity—not you.”
In the case of hundreds of students vying for the limited spots in the classes with higher demand, our source recommends students banding together to create a shared identity.
“The way our registration task force sees it, four or five students could enroll under one fabricated identity. They could attend classes on a rotating schedule, then share what they’ve learned with the other students working under the pseudonym. Sure, there’s the issue of who can claim the diploma at the end of the academic experience, but that issue could be eliminated should those students just simply choose to adopt that persona for the rest of their lives. At the end of the day, this solution doesn’t just get more students into the classroom, but also encourages a spirit of teamwork that will consume them not just for their time at St. Kate’s, but for the rest of their lives—guaranteed!”
