The Introvert’s Guide to Friends Graduating

A look back at friends and what to do when they are graduating

By M Yeager

Hello, I’m M (or Em — phonetically they are the same). I have just turned 20, I’m a junior becoming a senior and all of my friends are graduating.

Pretty much everyone goes through this at some point in time. Your friends move away or change jobs, and it’s a melancholy affair. As an out-of-state student who came to St. Kate’s in the fall of 2020, there were not many opportunities for an introvert like me to go out and meet people who would eventually become my friends. As an awkward and neurodivergent introvert, making friends is difficult. In fact, one of my first friends I met through continually running into each other, and after the fifth time we met in which my body was halfway in one of the coolers in the Pulse, the friend said, “We keep running into each other; I suppose that means we should be friends.”

That situation for the most part is very much how I make friends: running into them or spending enough time with them until it’s difficult to determine exactly when we became friends. Of my two very best friends, who I have mentioned in several of my previous articles, one graduated last December and the other graduates this May. Later this year they are moving out of their apartment, which we lovingly refer to as Trans House. I am feeling mildly sentimental about the entire situation, and I wish to reminisce while also offering advice and help for those who have been or will be in similar situations.

A Story of Misadventures

I met Rin through Residence Life’s New Friends, Same Obsessions Dungeons & Dragons group in spring 2021, and her weird vibes have captivated me ever since. She is also the hypothetical resident that I did a Wildchat with during my Resident Advisor interview process. From fall 2021 until fall 2022, Rin and I have been in several Communication Studies classes together in which we were inseparable. Still, we spend much of our time together to the point where I have been considered an unofficial and honorary student worker in the Office of Scholarly Engagement, where Rin works. Kat was my sophomore year suitemate, and we hit it off as well as two introverts who have had little previous face-to-face conversation beforehand possibly can.

Would this rival my great-grandmother’s hat collection?

We have done so much together and it has been filled with numerous inside jokes and new traditions. Two of our most honored traditions are Townie Tuesdays and weekly suppers. During Townie Tuesdays, we would often go around the Twin Cities after class to explore. Often we would come back with composted flowers from A. Johnson & Sons Florists that we would later dry and decorate our suite with.

(Pro tip: A. Johnson & Sons Florists on Grand Avenue lets community members have the flowers that they end up composting at the end of the day. Many of the flowers are in good shape! You, too, could have numerous dried flowers adorning your living spaces.)

Two enemies holding hands because they’re secretly roommates

Although we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, we have gone through a lot together. From Rin accompanying me to Urgent Care and being mistaken for my mom when I had bronchitis to Kat and Rin inadvertently scaring off one of my Bumble dates by calling me a small sickly Victorian child to the bimonthly check-in to the question “What season or arc of a sitcom are we in?” There’s a lot we have done together, and it is bittersweet that soon both of them will no longer be a 15-minute Segway scooter ride away.

Tearing up the city of Eau Claire through ballroom dancing

My Friends Are Graduating. Now What?

As members of the Elder Council, yet another creation formed within just under two years of knowing each other, I asked both Kat and Rin what they have done when some of their other friends graduated or moved away. “I don’t think of it as them leaving,” said Kat Hage ‘22 (English).

Rin compared two of her close friends and the difference in being able to keep in touch with them. “The two of them are kinda on opposite ends of the spectrum, because one I moved in with, and the other went home to California. [...] It’s been harder to stay in touch with Cielo [friend from California], and I do really miss her.” Rin went on to say that there has been a lot that she and Cielo have caught each other up on and they text a lot, but that it is still difficult.

So what should you do?

“Keeping in touch is the most important thing,” Kat said, accompanied by, “just text me, uwu,” (the last word being pronounced as oo-woo, obviously).

Rin offered a similar plan of action. “Schedule something now. Set up a movie night or a coffee date or something for a week or two after graduation. [...] Schedule it now, don't let it fall through the cracks.”

Both of these recommendations are important, helpful and likely what you would hear from other people you would ask. A few weeks ago at an alumni panel, I heard one of the alumni note that, “My St. Kate’s friends are my silliest friends,” and I would have to agree. It’s important to keep that silliness in your life, especially post-graduation.

Their silliness has captivated me — mind, body and soul

One last thing that I will note is that you make some of your best friends in overlooked places in your day-to-day life and that should not be discounted. They could be the person you sit by in one of your Philosophy classes. Or they could be your coworker who you often make “creations” with out of the ingredients at your disposal in the Pulse, who you now have coffee with on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.

To the awkward introverts like me: You’re not alone, and I got you.

<3 M