Special Edition Fall 2022: What’s Your (Body) Image?
By Mia Timlin
About a month into my first semester as a college student, I felt my sense of self-image change. It happened one evening in the second floor dorm bathroom while I was brushing my teeth. I happened to make eye contact with myself in the mirror—a very disorienting thing to do, I recommend avoiding it at all costs—and realized something was different. I didn’t fully recognize myself.
It wasn’t that anything had blatantly changed, it just felt as if a dozen tiny things had shifted in a way so miniscule I had to wonder if anything was actually different or if I’d just never actually known my face before. Had that freckle on the side of my nose always been there? And the way one side of my face seems somehow rounder than the other—has it always been like that? For a couple of very long seconds I felt like I was looking at a stranger.
I’ve thought about this moment several times since it happened, and have tried to come up with some kind of cause; a catalyst for my brief identity crisis. Maybe I was just tired. Stress certainly could have played a role. It’s possible that I really am that embarrassingly unobservant and have managed to spend 18 years ignoring my own face.
My favorite theory, and the one I consider to be the most likely, is that college is a time for self-actualizing metamorphosis.
As a first-year student, I’ve spent every moment of my life prior to college as a kid. I’m experiencing freedom and responsibility intersect in a fuller way than they ever have in my life. If I want to go somewhere I can just go—no asking permission. If I want to spend every last drop of my paycheck on some exorbitantly priced pair of boots or a lifetime supply of SunnyD or any other frivolous and ill-fated purchase, no one is there to stop me. There’s no reason to hide the bags or burn the receipts when I get home. I could wake up one morning and decide that my time on this particular day would be best spent in bed.
Of course, all of these things have consequences, which is partially why I think something like going away to college can be so scary for people who have never been on their own. I know that up until this point I’ve managed to avoid financial destitution by not squandering my money on random whims, and I drag myself out of bed every day to go to class, but I’ve never had to do it without a safety net. I think that for me—and maybe it’s like this for others, too—the shift in my perception of myself comes from the fact that I now have to be enough for myself to make these decisions.
My body image has always been something I’m very aware of. Or rather, the perception of my body image has always been something I’m aware of. I think this is the case for a lot of us. Our image is something that is supposed to belong completely to ourselves—an outwards representation of existence. Like it or not, we all have an image and with that comes a complicated relationship that can often result in a disconnect between who we are and what we are presenting. Whether you have the utmost confidence in your appearance or you struggle with your image on a day-to-day basis, feeling insecure in the way you look is pretty much a guaranteed aspect of the human experience.
For me, diving into college life, and even the preparation leading up to it, brought out a lot of body image-related insecurities. The ever-ominous “freshman 15” was so present that it felt baffling that amidst all of the changes and notable events I was about to experience, something so superficial as my weight carried so much focus. As my departure for school rapidly approached, I found myself getting annoyed with how much time and energy I was giving toward this one anxiety. Shouldn’t I have bigger things to focus on? As it turns out, I wasn’t completely alone.
“It made me extremely anxious about going to college and it was a big worry for me,” said Ariana Bahena ‘26 (Psychology) in a survey about body image. “I think I was more anxious about the freshman 15 than I was about making friends.”
Other students said they came into college with a plan, hoping to prevent weight gain during the initial year of college.
“It has made me more stressed about what I eat,” said Maria Ngangsic-Asongu ‘25 (International Business and Economics, Computer Science minor). “Sometimes after eating a big meal I feel bad—like an ‘ugh, I shouldn’t have done that’ feeling.”
It’s not exactly a secret that college campuses aren’t always the best place to put together the diet you want, and St. Kate’s is no exception. Whether it’s a struggle bending your schedule to fit into the limitations of dining hall hours or a lack of healthy options that appeal to you, many students feel that they haven’t been able to fall into healthy habits on campus.
“I try my best, but I do not have much money to spare and go to buy healthy food at the store. Anytime I try to get something healthier for dinner or after dance practice, the area of choice in the dining hall is closed,” said Brooklynn Richardson ‘26 (Exercise Science Pre-PT), who has had trouble balancing dining hall hours and an athletic schedule. “Sometimes the dining hall is closed after practice and I am stuck eating ramen, snacks or skipping dinner many nights of the week.”
Campus Health Promotion Coordinator Emmelene Romer, however, says that the “freshman 15” isn’t something students really need to be concerned with.
“If anything I would say that that term isn’t really rooted in a lot of fact based things,” Romer says. “It’s unfortunately a little bit of a holdover from a focus on weight and diet culture. In reality, what often happens is students are just learning how to navigate prepping meals for themselves and noticing that they might still be going through changes with their bodies.”
Romer, who works closely with the registered dietitian on campus, says that when it comes to food and its relation to body image, it’s really more important to just be eating than to stress too much about the consequences of something that may not be the healthiest option on the market.
“I think that sometimes when we label foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ or put a kind of morals attached to it, that can play over into how we view ourselves too,” Romer said. “If we remove this moralistic terminology and look at it like ‘all foods are acceptable, I’m honoring my body when I’m honoring my hunger,’ you’ll typically find you’re less attached to feeling negative about yourself.”
Despite our best efforts, we all have those days when the negative feelings are there and can’t seem to be shaken off. I was curious as to what my fellow Katies do when those days grab hold and they’re having trouble feeling good in their bodies. The options really are limitless, from Taylor Swift Treadmill Struts [Lauren Trowbridge ‘24 (ASL Interpreting/English)], to Chipotle burritos [Ella Tracy ‘26 (Political Science/Public Policy)], to playing on a playground with friends [Kathryn Lewis ‘26 (Studio Art)].
It’s sometimes easy to forget that college is a time to figure out what works for you, and your relationship with your body is no exception. Take your time and give yourself grace—I know that’s what I’m trying to do.
